Formula Feeding

Many people have asked if I am breastfeeding or not.  It's not a private question, or something I'm not up for sharing- I have just been pretty busy, and I wanted to explain it a little further than a simple yes or no. 

Basically, for any baby with cleft lip or pallet, it's pretty tough to breast feed.  Ultimately it depends on a combination of how extensive the cleft is, how determined the Mom is, and if there are people available to help in these situations.  I think in Boise they are set up with lactation specialists who can help if it's possible to breastfeed, but here in Twin they are not.  Of course it's possible to pump and bottle feed, and that's probably what most Mom's choose to do.  I made the decision to formula feed when I was still pregnant (pretty much immediately after finding the cleft), simply because of my bad track record with breastfeeding (-if that answers your question, then we're good.  If you're interested in my history, I'll share... just keep reading.) :)

After Addison was born she never latched on (not even once).  I had the lactation specialist work with me endlessly at the hospital, and tried for two weeks  to breast feed her.  It was the most miserable two weeks of life with a newborn ever.  After two weeks I stopped trying to breast feed her and tried pumping, only to find that I was not making hardly any milk.  So we went straight to formula and we all started enjoying life. (AND she started sleeping through the night pretty much immediately).

When I had Brogan I was sure to make breastfeeding my number one concern as soon as he was born.  Again I worked with a lactation specialist and even though it wasn't easy, he was a breastfed baby.  The only problem was that he was ALWAYS latched on eating (and with Addison only being 14 months old at the time it was pretty impossible to get anything done -like feeding or taking care of her...).  After four weeks of chaotic life and feeling like a slacker Mom, I decided to pump and see how much milk I was actually making.  In one feeding Brogan ate double what I was able to pump (no wonder he was always hungry).  I tried a couple things to increase my milk production, but ultimately he was done breastfeeding. 

When we found out Cash would have a cleft lip and that we would have a whole slew of new and different trials, I decided that I was not going to waste my time and energy trying to pump then feed, only to probably have to supplement anyway.  Breastfeeding was stressful with my other kids. I never enjoyed it and I obviously don't do a great job making milk (which come to find out, was a similar problem for my Mom and also her Mom).  So far my breasts have been engorged (the biggest, hardest boobs I've ever had! -Someday I'm DEFINITELY getting a boob job) but I haven't really squirted out milk or woke up soaking wet (I've heard some horror stories about drying up)... but none of that's happened to me.

Breastfeeding is great, and I truly admire women who can do it (because seriously, I think it takes work and dedication). I think it makes sense financially and physically to breast feed if you can, but so far it hasn't worked for me.  With Addison and Brogan I almost felt guilty when I gave up on it (and I felt like some people did try to make me feel that way).  Since being pregnant with Cash, I've found that I'm way more concerned with simply enjoying my sweet little baby and all the sweet experiences we will share together, rather than feeling guilty for things I can't control. So far it's been awesome!
#stepsoffsoapbox ;)